I Am I Dont Know

I\'m average height, people say I'm thick, that’s just a polite way of saying fat, I have green eyes which change with weather and mood, long legs, lanky arms. I have long hair so I can hide, wear makeup to cover my flaws, I smile when sad, hide when I cry, I love my children, but I'm jealous of their innocence and naivety, I smoke too much, I drink even more, I'm an empath and I wish I wasn't, I'm not sure who I am, I have pale skin with bones beneath, my soul aches, when I scream nothing comes out, or maybe no one listens, I feel love, I feel anguish, I'm homesick, I'm confused, I'm torn, I question myself when I think I'm right and they're wrong, I ask too many questions I feel like I'm going to implode, I like to have fun, dance, talk, walk funny, I have problems making friends with women, I like hanging out with guys, no one understands, I want to be cloned, so I have someone to get along with, I'm easy going, but I never seem to get the same treatment, I try to see the best in people, I'm misunderstood, I'm not a racist, Bigot or homophobe, but always seem to be surrounded by them and their close mindedness, I have big breasts that I could use to get what I want, but I don't, I don't dress whorish, I always wear jeans, I prefer silver to gold, I don't know who I am, I write a lot, to try and sort my head out, I'm scared of ending up like my mum, I'm scared of forgetting things, I learn fast, I'm anal about little things I like my dish cloths folded twice into a square, I’m a perfectionist, I’m a typical Virgo, I sometimes hurt myself just to feel, I remember peoples names, I'm a bit of a hermit, I have strong beliefs, I'm passionate, I talk a big game sometimes, I'm bitchy and moody, I don't like people much, I don't know who I am, I like a lot of different things, its hard to hold my interest, I think I'm comfortable with myself, but I'm wrong, cause I don't know who I am, I know wrong from right, I read to escape myself, I wish I was other people, I would change many things in my life, I lie, I have stolen before, I have tiny feet, I like animals I know all this but I don't know who I am, I'm trying to find out